So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
