on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
