great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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