i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think I won the penis lottery.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
