I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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