Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
