so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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