we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
