i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
