At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
