No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize