I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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