what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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