Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
