just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize