I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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