He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need a burrito and a hug.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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