The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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