Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
