i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
