He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
