i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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