Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize