Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
