dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
