Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i drank out of a bidet.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
