Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
