How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize