He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
