did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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