Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
