He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
