The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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