I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
