Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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