so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
