Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
