What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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