It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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