I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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