Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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