Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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