I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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