My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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