You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Someone shit on the floor
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
