this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
