My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
