she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
