Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
