whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
