youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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