you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
