Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize