I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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