Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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