return my video game
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
