jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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