My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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