WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
