His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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