Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
