ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
