i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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