i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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