are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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