is your mom at the bar?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
