Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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