In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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