It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
